Cooties (2015)

Genre: Horror Comedy, Zombies, Evil Kids
Director: Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

I know it makes me a terrible person or something, because kids are precious (and a gift! and the future! and innocent! and pure!) but oh. my. god. children are on my last nerve right now. I work in retail so I lay witness daily to their predictable, repetitive nature of manipulation, greed, destruction, and ability to go batshit crazy on a dime. Also, I'm officially the cranky old lady that lives next door to your idyllic family. All of that youthful playing outside with the laughing and the yelling and the screaming and the chasing and the crying... let's just say I'm missing the gene that finds all of this charming. Much like my feline friends I like things quiet and peaceful. I will most certainly be telling them to GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN in about thirty more years. Or tomorrow. Whichever. This is all to say that wow, was I in the mood for Cooties!

Being an avid reader of the horror magazine Rue Morgue I catch wind of certain movies sometimes years before they finally make it to a wide release. Those damn Canadians and their amazing horror film festivals. So I'd been looking forward to this one for some time. Especially with this awesome movie poster taunting me...

Well, I loved it. It was funny, disgusting, smartly written, and has a great cast. It was more of a comedy than I had anticipated but I'd read an article that said, "the great thing about comedy: it allows you to do so many outrageous things. As long as you can get a laugh, you can get away with them. It raises the bar of censorship." And when you have kids eating teachers and babies and then getting gruesomely killed, I suppose dressing it up in humor helps the medicine go down.

Elijah Wood is once again giving back to the genre that nourished his love of film at a young age - horror. Cooties marks the sixth movie that his film company SpectreVision has produced, and it is the fourth horror movie that he has starred in. Way to go Mr. Frodo!

Circle, circle, dot, dot now you have a cootie shot!

5 out of 5 stars