Friday, January 8, 2016

Best Horror Movies of 2015

Unlike last year where the indie horror movie reigned, this year was all about great mainstream horror.  Quite a few of these made it to theaters, starred well-known actors, or at the very least had some strong online buzz. Which in the horror movie business, is pretty much like getting a spot in Entertainment Weekly. We take what we can get.

Part of my research when doing a best of the year post is digging into what others thought were standouts. Most years it's pretty unsurprising and many of their picks inevitably make it onto my list as well. But this year was a little perplexing. The majority of the picks that made it onto lists of other reviewers were movies that I wouldn't even consider horror.

I'm no stranger to seriously considering what makes a movie a horror movie versus a psychological thriller or a black comedy with horror themes. I keep an extensive, updated list of the horror movies I see and there are many times wherein the movie was marketed as horror (The Tall Man) but in fact was not and thus does not make it to my watched list.  The appearance of a vampire does not a horror movie make. Is Sesame Street horror because of The Count? Are Vampire in Brooklyn or Once Bitten horror movies? So what qualifies What We Do in the Shadows as horror? Why is Bone Tomahawk (a movie that I loved, by the way) considered horror when in fact it's only the last half hour of the movie that has anything resembling violence or gore. If we simply qualify a movie as horror because of violence or gore then we'd be calling Fight Club a horror movie. Or every film by Quentin Tarantino. A horror movie isn't HORROR because it has murder or blood or a funny vampire. Horror movies are an exploitation of nightmares. They are wicked intrusions into your mind and soul.  Even when they're a comedy they never lose their horror foundation of gore and scares and desperate scenarios.

Deciding what differentiates psychological thrillers from horror is extremely tricky. Both are meant to scare you but in different ways - thrillers use more realistic situations while horror uses more traditional horror elements such as the supernatural, killers with masks, creatures, extreme violence etc. The main difference between the two genres is plot. Psychological thrillers tend to use twists and misdirection in realistic scenarios to keep the viewer guessing until the big reveal. Horror is more straightforward with a sense of urgency and foreboding.  Of course some movies blur these lines completely, making it very difficult to know the difference and then, really, it's just a personal call.

The movies that made it to many Best of the Year lists that were incorrectly (in my opinion) qualified as horror were:
The Visit - more a psychological thriller
What We Do In The Shadows - just a straight up comedy with vampires
Maggie - a drama with horror themes
Krampus - a slightly more mature version of Goosebumps
Bone Tomahawk - again, not a horror movie - perhaps a drama western with a bloody cherry on top
Crimson Peak - (but there's ghosts!) a Gothic romance with a murderous fairytale heart. "It's not a ghost story, it's a story with ghosts in it." - Edith, Crimson Peak

I suppose I find the distinctions important because when considering what you're going to tout as a genre standout, the first thing you should do, aside from watching it, is to make sure it belongs in the genre.

Other horror movies that made it to the majority of Best of Lists this year were:
Creep - I found it boring and very meh
Spring - Liked it very much but was a little too slow to make it a best for me
We Are Still Here - Pretty good but a little disappointing based on the intensity of the trailer
Deathgasm - Kind of hated it
When Animals Dream - I liked it but it was too slow to make a lasting impact
Pod - Kind of hated it
Goodnight Mommy - There's one scene in the beginning that is a shameless, unexplained moment of misdirection that made an ultimately great movie lose my vote.

Aside from my #1 pick, which was EVERYONE'S #1 pick, my list looks very different any of the other lists out there. So if Krampus scared the hell out of you or Bone Tomahawk was too gory - then you might not want to watch any of these actual horror movies. Because I may like bad horror movies, but at least they're horror movies.

#15.)  Bound to Vengeance


Genre: Revenge
Director: José Manuel Cravioto
Availability: Netflix Streaming

Brutal and surprisingly inventive for your typical rape revenge movie, with an ending that was like a gut punch. It's always something special when an actor can take a repulsive character and make him likable somehow, and that's exactly what Richard Tyson did. I was never rooting for him, but I enjoyed every moment of his screen time.



#14.)  Burying the Ex


Genre: Zombie; Comedy
Director: Joe Dante
Availability: Netflix Streaming

While he's been doing more TV than film these last ten years, Joe Dante (director of Gremlins and The Burbs) proves that he's still got his thumb on the pulse of horror comedy with Burying the Ex. It's gross, it's funny, it's fun and it's twisted. With solid stars like Anton Yelchin (Star Trek and Fright Night remakes), Ashley Greene (Twilight - whatever haters), and Alexandra Daddario (a ton of TV and Texas Chainsaw 3D), Dante creates something of an unusual movie that has a genuine RomCom feel with a solid horror heart. And with all of the classic horror references, and the main stars being horror geeks, well, it was a delightful perfection for that kind of mood.


#13.)  From the Dark


Genre: Vampire
Director: Conor McMahon
Country: Ireland
Availability: Netflix Streaming

Now this, this is a vampire movie. Holy hell, I think I held my breath for the entire film. Cloaked in darkness with moments of blinding light, there is always a trick of shadow, a slight movement just out of the corner of your eye, a gentle rustle of fabric or creaking of floor boards. You never let your guard down but it's no matter, it will be too late, he is always upon you, you are trapped and he can not die. Creepy as hell.


#12.)  Clown



Genre: Creature Feature; Demons
Director: Jon Watts
Availability: Not Available

If you hate clowns, can't stand body horror, and don't want to watch children die, then this movie is not for you. It is seriously screwed up and oh, so good. Since renting this last winter they have taken it off of On Demand and it's currently only on DVD for Regions 2 and 3. Lame. A directorial note of interest: Jon Watts is currently set to direct the new Spider-Man reboot, so, that's a fun resume.



#11.)  Gravy


Genre: Comedy; Slasher; Cannibals
Director: James Roday
Availability: On Demand

We watched this on Halloween and man, what a delight! It's cleverly written, superbly cast (with a quirky guest appearance of Sarah Silverman), and bloody as hell. And once the climactic third act starts to play, it gets to be a knockdown drag out shit show. It was a great year for horror comedies and Gravy is definitely one of the best.


#10.)  A Christmas Horror Story


Genre: Anthology, Christmas
Director: Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett Sullivan
Availability: On Demand

I'm just as surprised as you are. But after the softcore disappointment of Krampus, I was really craving some hardcore Christmas horror to watch by the ambient light of my Christmas tree, and A Christmas Horror Story delivered. The anthology as a whole is pretty strong, with a random yet highly entertaining guest appearance of William Shatner to add a little Christmas cheer. Not all segments are total winners however, like the one about the high school kids was kind of weak, but it's no matter because the rest of them are pretty fantastic, especially the story of the rabid elves attacking Santa and then Santa and Krampus fighting well... it just doesn't get better than that. A Christmas miracle, indeed.


#9.)  #Horror


Genre: Slasher
Director: Tara Lyn Subkoff
Availability: On Demand

#Horror is one of the strangest and nontraditionally unsettling movies I've ever seen. The straightforward horror aspect of this movie is that it's simply a slasher film. And yet that's the least scary thing about it. The disconcerting elements that are the heart and soul of #Horror is the heavy use of social media. To the point where it's almost a mania. These tweens are positively obsessed with their online lives. Every moment is captured, filtered, twisted, posted, reposted, manipulated, obsessed over, gossiped about, and repeated. These girls are best friends and yet they are so incredibly cruel to each other it's doubtful that any of them would grow up into normal human beings, you know, if most of them weren't murdered by the end of the movie anyways. If you're looking for something a off kilter, this will do ya.


#8.)  Final Girls


Genre: Slasher, Comedy
Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson
Availability: On Demand

There is no better way to pay homage to the traditional slasher movie than to poke fun at it. You know, lovingly. As any true fan of horror can tell you, sometimes the movies we love, the movies that are the foundation for the genre even, are bad, bad movies. But it's like making fun of your little brother, it's perfectly acceptable until someone else does it. Final Girls is essentially that. In a totally meta way. Chase scenes are in slow motion, sex and drugs are death sentences, flashing your boobs is totally normal, and never say I'll be right back. If there was ever a love letter to the slasher movie, this would be it.


#7.)  Backcountry


Genre: Creature Feature, Nature
Director: Adam MacDonald
Availability: On Demand

Sometimes you don't need a lot of bells and whistles to make for a compelling, and terrifying, movie. Sometimes all you need is the wilderness, a tent, and a bear. And as an avid camper myself, I can tell you it's movies like these that truly scare the shit out of me. Simple, direct, and utterly brutal, Backcountry will make you think twice about that next camping trip.


#6.)  Cooties


Genre: Comedy, Zombies, Infection, Apocalypse
Director: Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion
Availability: On Demand

Historically I haven't been the biggest fan of horror comedy. There are of course exceptions to the rules, but in general I've found most to be too silly to be taken seriously. They lack scares and sufficient gore or shock value. But this past year has been winning me over with some brutal, clever, hilarious, creepy horror comedies. Cooties takes the helm with its no-holds-barred zombie kids and the odd-ball teachers that have to hack and slash their way to freedom. The cast is brimming with great comedic actors and the writers have serious credits under their belts such as multiple Saw movies and Scream Queens. This one is not to miss.


#5.)  The Hive


Genre: Virus, Apocalypse
Director: David Yarovesky
Availability: On Demand

I'm putting this one at #5 but there's a big part of this movie that's #1 in my heart. I seriously loved it. Every aspect of this movie won me over - the music, actors, gore, mystery, story, ending - it's a near perfect horror movie for me. The only reason it's not number one is because, while I fell in love with it, it just didn't scare me (though it's creepy, for sure). And a movie that can scare me goes right to the top of the list. Otherwise, it's a pretty brilliant arthouse horror movie. A treasure.


#4.)  Unfriended


Genre: Supernatural, Ghosts, Bully Revenge
Director: Levan Gabriadze
Availability: On Demand

Here's a movie I had absolutely no interest in. I'm really over Cam movies (aren't we all?) so a movie that takes place entirely through Skype screens (while unique) sounded like unnecessary torture. In fact the only reason I saw this was because the horror movie we were watching at home was so terrible that it drove us to the theater in hopes for a fraction of fun. And wow, Unfriended completely surprised! A new trend in horror right now is bullying revenge. I'm totally serious. So the story seemed fresh and relevant, the method of filming unique, and the tension riveting. The irony of Unfriended is that it probably gained a ton of friends on Facebook.


#3.)  Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse


Genre: Comedy, Zombies, Virus, Apocalypse
Director: Christopher Landon
Availability: On Demand

This movie won me over in the first opening minutes with a lip sync scene of an Iggy Azalea song. From that moment I was sold. The rest of the film fell into place with spectacular gore, gross out gags, a badass hot chick, horny teenagers, hordes of zombies, Dolly Pardon, undead cats, and a Britney Spears singalong. If none of these things do it for you then, well, you have no soul.


#2.)  Insidious 3


Genre: Supernatural, Demons
Director: Leigh Whannell
Availability: On Demand

Let me qualify this review by stating that I'm not a fan of the Insidious movies. The first one was okay. The second one was pretty terrible. But the idea of a prequel appealed to me and the trailer looked scary as hell so, why not. And holy shit. I must've screamed in the theater a dozen times. I was sitting in a ball clutching my best friend's arm and smiling from ear to ear because I was terrified. Even now, thinking of certain scenes gives me chills. Insidious 3 took everything that was cheesy about the first two movies and got rid of it. Here lies a bare boned, white knuckle horror movie that will make you sleep with the lights on.



#1.)  It Follows


Genre: Supernatural, Creature Feature, Slut Shame
Director: David Robert Mitchell
Availability: On Demand

It Follows is simply magical. It blends a timeless, contemporary, vintage, arthouse, drama, love story, horror movie with an unsubtle subtext of slut shaming, contamination, friendship, and damnation. All while you float in a dreamy, warm, tension-filled dread. And the score is outstanding. Anyone familiar with Goblin and what they did for '70s & '80s Italian horror will appreciate the influence they had on cinema like this. An outstanding accomplishment.  


Here's to more fantastic horror in 2016!

~ Doll

Friday, September 25, 2015

Cooties (2015)


Genre: Horror Comedy, Zombies, Evil Kids
Director: Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

I know it makes me a terrible person or something, because kids are precious (and a gift! and the future! and innocent! and pure!) but oh. my. god. children are on my last nerve right now. I work in retail so I lay witness daily to their predictable, repetitive nature of manipulation, greed, destruction, and ability to go batshit crazy on a dime. Also, I'm officially the cranky old lady that lives next door to your idyllic family. All of that youthful playing outside with the laughing and the yelling and the screaming and the chasing and the crying... let's just say I'm missing the gene that finds all of this charming. Much like my feline friends I like things quiet and peaceful. I will most certainly be telling them to GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN in about thirty more years. Or tomorrow. Whichever. This is all to say that wow, was I in the mood for Cooties!

Being an avid reader of the horror magazine Rue Morgue I catch wind of certain movies sometimes years before they finally make it to a wide release. Those damn Canadians and their amazing horror film festivals. So I'd been looking forward to this one for some time. Especially with this awesome movie poster taunting me...


Well, I loved it. It was funny, disgusting, smartly written, and has a great cast. It was more of a comedy than I had anticipated but I'd read an article that said, "the great thing about comedy: it allows you to do so many outrageous things. As long as you can get a laugh, you can get away with them. It raises the bar of censorship." And when you have kids eating teachers and babies and then getting gruesomely killed, I suppose dressing it up in humor helps the medicine go down.

Elijah Wood is once again giving back to the genre that nourished his love of film at a young age - horror. Cooties marks the sixth movie that his film company SpectreVision has produced, and it is the fourth horror movie that he has starred in. Way to go Mr. Frodo!

Circle, circle, dot, dot now you have a cootie shot!

5 out of 5 stars

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Best Horror Movies of 2014

Over the last five years or so the horror genre has been working hard to reinstate its relevance to audiences. With a more accessible movie-making process independent filmmakers are experiencing a creative freedom resulting in some truly remarkable low-budget gems. The quality of actors and script (and scare) rarely suffer because of this, which just seems to prove that Hollywood is not the exclusive owner of talent.

The best horror movies of 2014 was a long list for me this year for those very reasons. It was difficult to whittle it down to a top 10 so I compromised and picked my top 15. Below are brief thoughts on each pick.

#15. The Den


Genre: Slasher
Director: Zachary Donohue
Availability: Netflix Streaming

The Den made this list primarily because the premise is a bit of a fear of mine. The idea that my webcam could be active without my knowledge. That someone could be watching me - all the time. Or that when I'm video chatting with someone, I'll witness something terrifying and be a helpless observer. Or vice versa. And in that sense, The Den was pretty intense. It had a strange twist ending that was a little out of nowhere but overall it made a lasting impression, which is rare.


#14 Starry Eyes


Genre: Creature Feature, Body Horror
Director: Kevin Kolsch, Dennis Widmyer
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

Starry Eyes starts as a bit of a slow burn but it adds just enough of the bizarre to keep you engaged. Actress Alex Essoe transitions effortlessly from the bubbly girl next door to a darker, more destructive version of herself. It's a compelling watch with some uncomfortable body horror moments and a crescentic, bloody final act. 


#13 Dead Within




Genre: Zombie, Physiological Horror
Director:  Ben Wagner
Availability: Netflix Streaming

My mind often flits back to Dead Within and its chilling, quiet moments of unrest and madness. This is not your traditional zombie movie. In fact, it's barely a zombie movie at all. That's where your expectation should be. The zombies are just a vehicle for the main themes of the movie which are confinement, ritual, distrust, and insanity. They did so much with so little here and the results are powerful.


#12 All Cheerleaders Die




Genre: Witchcraft, Teen Scream, Horror Comedy
Director: Lucky McKee
Availability: Netflix Streaming

All Cheerleaders Die is not going to be for everyone. You have to appreciate a little tongue-in-cheek humor (a-la Jennifer's Body) in order to truly enjoy the experience of watching a bunch of back from the dead cheerleaders with gem stones in their chest exacting revenge on the football players who killed them. Yeah, it's that ridiculous. And it's pretty awesome for it.  


#11 The Taking of Deborah Logan


Genre: Supernatural
Director: Adam Robitel
Availability: Netflix Streaming

There's something terrifying about kids and old people. They're often coupled because both stages of life are fragile and have questionable mental acuity. And because of that fragility, that vulnerability, they make excellent horror movie villains. And while the scary kid aspect has been done - and continues to be done - to death, not as many horror movies center around an elderly character. Actress Jill Larson was exceptional as Deborah Logan, a woman who is struggling with periods of lucidity and dementia. Though her increasing strange behavior throws her diagnosis into question and soon we suspect that there is something else entirely wrong with Deborah Logan. Watch this one with the lights out.


#10  As Above, So Below


Genre: Psychological
Director: John Erick Dowdle
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

This is the movie that happens when a creator wants to make a horror movie but is tired of the same old shit. Sure, there's scares and bloody kills, but there's also this terrific, complex historical puzzle to unravel and decode. Weird clues lead them deeper into an impossible psychological battlefield that most of them will not survive. If you're looking for something a little different you can't go wrong with this one.


#9 Almost Human


Genre: Aliens
Director: Joe Begos
Availability: Netflix Streaming

It's no secret that I absolutely love low-budget horror movies. They have a certain kind of creative freedom and immense heart that you only find in movies that don't have much to lose but have everything to prove. Almost Human fits that bill but in a most brutal, no guts no glory kind of way. Like, literal guts. So many guts. If you miss the creature features of the '80s then this one is for you.


#8 Willow Creek


Genre: Creature Feature
Director: Bobcat Goldthwait
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

Willow Creek was pretty good until the tent scene, and then it got excellent. Never have I been so terrified watching people be terrified. It was a pretty spot-on representation of what it's like to be in a tent in the middle of nowhere and wake up to some strange nature noises that you can't immediately identify. Don't watch this one before a camping trip (like I did).



#7 The Town That Dreaded Sundown


Genre: Serial Killer
Director: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Availability: Netflix Streaming

The Town That Dreaded Sundown is a meta-sequel of a 1976 movie called The Town That Dreaded Sundown which was a horror movie based on actual events (no, seriously). Confused yet? It's actually a pretty clever idea and the execution was outstanding, peppering the 2014 movie with quick cut scenes of the 1976 movie, fading out or zooming into a scene using a lens-like view. The whole movie was just brilliantly creative. And the killer is armed with a gun. A gun! How many horror movies do that? Want to root for the girl to get away from the man slowly stalking her? Don't bother, he's got a gun, she's not getting far. Brutal stuff.


#6 Stage Fright



Genre: Slasher, Musical
Director:  Jerome Sable
Availability: Netflix Streaming

A musical horror movie. With Meatloaf. It's as awesome as it sounds. No, really. I can guarantee you've never seen anything like it and you'll start asking yourself why they're aren't more musical horror movies. It's funny, it's scary, it's bloody, it's brilliant.


#5 The Quiet Ones


Genre: Supernatural
Director: John Pogue
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

Atmospheric and creepy with a talented cast and an interesting story - I'm not entirely sure why The Quiet Ones failed so miserably at the box office while the crap-fest that was Oculus gained praise. If you enjoy slow burns with occult twists, then, um, watch it.


#4 Deliver Us From Evil


Genre: Occult, Serial Killer
Director: Scott Derrickson
Availability: Amazon Instant Video 

Granted, I watched this alone and in my basement (it's a long story) so I may have a skewed perspective of how scary this movie actually is but, holy crap, it freaked me out. But considering this is a Scott Derrickson movie, the writer/director who gave us The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Sinister, two fantastically creepy horror movies, it's probably safe to say if you like those movies you can't go wrong with this one. It reminded me of a more horroresque Silence of the Lambs or Seven - that gritty cop versus killer puzzle that slowly unravels in a horrific showdown. So good.


#3 See No Evil 2


Genre: Slasher 
Director:  Jen Soska, Sylvia Soska
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

Yes, See No Evil (the first one) was a terrible movie. Well, maybe not terrible, but not good by any means. So I was very confused when it was announced that not only was a sequel being made, but by the Soska sisters (American Mary creators) no less. And starring Danielle Harris and Katharine Isabelle. What the hell? Did they all lose a bet? But lo and behold, couple a bunch of talented horror creators with a terrible idea and -- Alakazam! -- they pull a pretty awesome horror movie out of their hat. There's no special twists or plot lines or anything fancy, just some good old fashioned murder death kills.


#2 The Purge 2: Anarchy


Genre: Killers
Director: James DeMonaco
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

One of the main reasons why I felt The Purge (the first one) wasn't as good as it could have been was because it played out like your standard home invasion movie when it has so much more potential. Its saving grace was Ethan Hawke and its ending, but otherwise it was kinda a bust for me. This one though... all bets are off. They're on the street, they can't trust anyone, there's no where to hide, there's no one to call for help and they're being hunted. The Purge 2 is continuous action. It hits the ground running and it doesn't let up until the credits. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time and that right there is a damn fine theater experience.  I even clapped when it was over.


#1 Dead Snow 2: Red VS. Dead


Genre: Zombies, Comedy
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Availability: Amazon Instant Video

I'm just as surprised as you are that my #1 pick is a ZomCom. But holy hell this was a good movie. Dead Snow (the first one) was excellent - bloody and funny and ... bloody. But its sequel takes everything right from the first one and makes it better. It's funnier, bloodier, ballsier, more layered and more interesting. And then there's Sidekick Zombie. Best horror movie of the year. Hands down.



~Doll

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Old Man and the Goblins (1998)


Genre: Animation Short
Director: Mark Caballero, Seamus Walsh
Country: USA
Availability: YouTube

This little gem was one of my top favorites that played at this year's H.P. Lovecraft Short Films Festival. It was made by Screen Novelties as an homage to Ladislaw Starewicz, the creator of the first puppet-animated film (The Beautiful Lukanida (1912)). Check out Starewicz's work here.

The Old Man and the Goblins (shown here in its entirety) was made in 1998, which is astonishing given that it looks like an authentic piece of film from the early 1900's.  It certainly brought to mind many of the Silly Symphonies black and whites I loved as a child.

5 out of 5 stars

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Dead Within (2014)



Genre: Zombies, Psychological
Director: Ben Wagner
Country: USA
Availability: Netflix Streaming

If the zombie apocalypse came and you had a safe place to stay, would you ever leave? My reply, given from the comfortable, naive cocoon of normalcy, is fuck yes. In fact, this isn't really a question for me. I can barely stand to be at home with the curtains drawn, let alone be holed up in a cabin and literally not taking a step outside in six months. Zombies be damned, that's no way to live. I'll take my chances with the biters. I'll sleep on the rooftops and bloody my hands with the slaughter, but goddamn don't you cage me.

Dead Within takes place entirely inside a two room cabin with two people. We see their daily routines, how they've held on to the small niceties of life like cleaning the house and getting dressed up for dinner. And we also see how things have changed as they go to bed fully dressed with their shoes on, weapons at their fingertips. Mike leaves Kim during the day to look for supplies. Kim finger paints the walls and talks to a painting of her cat.

There are very few zombies in this zombie movie, mostly because they aren't really the point. The movie is more about isolation and what that can start doing to a person over time. The two actors in Dead Within are terrific. They are believably melancholy,  morose, hopeful and hopeless, scared, paranoid, and tender. The score here is also really great. There's this ominous dread that builds with the music but not just during the suspenseful times, it plays over the mundane scenes as well, adding tension to the entire atmosphere that sustains itself throughout every scene. They really did a lot with very little for this movie and it reminded me of a play I saw last year. Proving that talented actors and a good story will make any production a powerful one.

3 out of 5 stars

Monday, September 29, 2014

Mine Games (2012)


Genre: Psychological, Slasher
Director: Richard Gray
Country: USA
Availability: Amazon On Demand

And so begins the horror movie - a group of beautiful young adults road trip to a remote cabin with copious amounts of alcohol and a let's fuckin' party spirit. I'm sold. Throw in a creepy mine? Well, now you're just sweet talking me.

On paper (and in the trailer) Mine Games looks like no-brainer win. Unfortunately, if you're going to wear big boy pants with your complicated plot twist, you better be fucking good at your job. Unfortunately for us, the writer Robert Cross doesn't know a hawk from a handsaw, as is evidence with this ill-conceived story. A little piece of advice for all you would-be horror movie writers out there, just because it's a horror movie doesn't mean your audience will forgive the fact that you don't have any explanations for the crazy shit you start throwing at us. A supernatural cabin and/or mine that creates clones of everyone because... it can? Sweet. Thanks bro.

Do yourself a favor and skip Mine Games. You're better off with Triangle. Same concept, flawless execution. Plus, Melissa George. It's a win-win.

2 out of 5 stars

Proxy (2013)


Genre: Psychological
Director: Zack Parker
Country: USA
Availability: Netflix Streaming

Well, I finally saw Proxy. That's my big takeaway. It's been on my list since it first made its rounds on the horror festival circuit two years ago. But given that it's a two hour "dramatic horror" movie I rarely ever felt like taking the plunge. I'm glad that I finally did but it won't be making my list of favorites anytime soon, even though it's a good movie. In fact, it's very reminiscent in tone to Absentia and Entrance in that it's more of a psychological character study while still maintaining its horror foundation.

Proxy has been synopsised in various ways but I think the most accurate description of the movie  is that it's about two women who seek out attention in demented ways via the use of children. Parents be warned that this movie may not be for you. But like I said, it's a good movie. Alexia Rasmussen is fantastic as the quiet, meek, yet totally psychotic Esther. And Alexa Havins is equally compelling as a twisted woman who doesn't really fully embrace how utterly nuts she is until the life that she's been pretending to have is a reality. And Joe Swanberg. An actor who every single time I see him on screen I wonder, who is that guy, only to discover he's been in every horror movie I've ever seen, ever. Then there's this scene in the bathroom that's so cinematically (horribly) beautiful that I was in awe.

I suppose my only real complaint with Proxy is its running length. And I realize I may not be the most credible judge of how long a movie should be, this coming from the girl who starts checking how much longer till the end about 70 minutes in. But seriously. Unless you have Thor running around with his fabulous hair whilst giant creatures are blowing up New York City, your movie probably doesn't have to be two hours long. I've got shit to do. Like watch a second movie before bedtime.

3 out of 5 stars