Genre: Witchcraft, Teen Screams Director: Lucky McKee, Chris Sivertson Country: USA Availability: Netflix Streaming
Writer/director Lucky McKee likes to make horror movies about strong (albeit sometimes insane) women. Common themes in Lucky McKee movies are lesbianism, rape, outcasts, revenge and witchcraft. All Cheerleaders Die has all of these themes, and so much more. Think Jennifer's Body but with an entire cheerleading squad.
I mean, the plot is ridiculous, don't get me wrong. Four hot cheerleaders come back from the dead because one hot Wicca is pissed that her girlfriend just died. And once the babes are back in uniform, only one thing will satisfy their blood lust - football players. This movie could have been a complete disaster but lucky for Lucky, he found a dynamite cast. These actresses not only pull off being powerful, but they manage to hit comedy right on the nose. So grab your pom-pons bitches, and get ready for a bloody good time.
Genre: Creature Feature Director: John Gulager Country: USA Availability: Amazon On Demand; Redbox (soon)
Let me first qualify this review by saying I was a big fan of not only the original 1978 movie Piranha, but also the 2010 remake - which admittedly had very little in common with its predecessor. Apparently when you put chicks in bikinis and then have them slowly being eaten alive by fish, it's highly entertaining in my book.
So I figure, how can you go wrong with another Piranha movie? Especially one with a tagline like, "Double the action. Double the terror. Double the D's." Well, let's review.
The story itself is fucking stupid. I mean, in 2010's Piranha 3D I can understand when prehistoric piranha are released into a lake from an underwater prehistoric lake that was buried and then exposed after an earthquake opened a fissure in the lake's floor. Makes total sense right? (just nod politely) So, in Piranha 3DD I'm to believe that the piranha from the first movie, before they were all blown to smithereens and after existing in Lake Victoria for oh, 3 days, laid eggs in that time in an underground river that leads into the piping system of a waterpark called Big Wet. And it's here, with certified water strippers and a fat waterpark worker who likes to stick his pecker into open water pipes and hump them, that the tiny baby piranha are released via the pipes to feast on swimmers who can't seem to make it the 12 feet to the edge of the pool to get out of the water before they are eaten alive? I don't fucking think so.
Add to this preposterousness a piranha living inside a girl's vagina for days. Days! She doesn't know this of course, because, why would you? Though the vagina piranha has the last laugh when he makes his presence known via biting a penis that suddenly moves into his territory. It's kinda like a Three's Company episode where there's all these misunderstandings and then someone totally overreacts. Anyways, the boyfriend (who is attached to said penis) pulls out and sees a piranha on his dick and he decides that the best course of action for this wacky situation is to cut it off. The penis. To cut the penis off. Then he bleeds to death on the kitchen floor. Like ya do. The girl however, having had a piranha living inside of her for days, DAYS, is like, totally fine. Of course she did have some unexplained convulsions and foaming at the mouth earlier while the piranha was narrowing in on its target. But now, covered in blood and vomit and mouth foam, she's aces. Man, vaginas are little wonder caves that can apparently house piranhas. Go vagina! (OMG.)
I'm sorry, am I spoiling the movie for you? Trust me. My silly little words will forever fail to illuminate the reality that is Piranha 3DD - a sight which you must behold yourself.
As I was saying. There are so many more completely absurd moments that I can't even begin to recount them all. David Hasselhoff guest stars, of course, as David Hasselhoff. He is so atrociously bad that he deserves a Razzie immediately. And the cherry on top... Ving Rhames. If you recall back when I was reviewing 2012: Zombie Apocalypse I stated that Ving Rhames needs to be in every horror movie I watch. I still stand by this statement, even though it actually made me sad to see him in this movie. Hell, I had more respect for him in 2012: Zombie Apocalypse. Which is saying a lot. Have you seen that movie? It's fucking horrible.
Which brings me to the end of this review, wherein I say, without hesitation, that you need to watch Piranha 3DD. IT'S HILARIOUS. Grab a friend or three (make it a threesome - hey-o!) and be sure there is copious amounts of alcohol to consume and watch this movie. You will totally regret it but it'll be one of those "had fun doing it" regrets like eating an entire box of brownie mix or blowing your paycheck on strippers and porn. Cause we've all been there, am I right? Ehhh? Yeah, I'm totally right.
2 out of 5 stars (but really more like 3.5 out of 5 stars)
Genre: Supernatural, Ghosts Director: Carlos Ramos Jr. Country: USA Availability: Netflix Streaming
I knew going in that Kill Katie Malone was going to be a low budget movie with subpar acting and bad special effects. I've certainly watched my fair share of low budget horror movies and am not opposed to them by any means, but I can think of many better ways in which to spent two hours of my time so the movie in question has got to be compelling enough for me to give it a shot, and my mood has to be just right. Usually I'm drawn more to low budget zombie movies. There's something charming about the amount of genre-love it takes to put on really bad zombie makeup and wander around moaning and feigning threat. Most of these movies come off more like a student film than anything resembling a real movie, but sometimes that just adds to the appeal. And sometimes you get lucky and find a real gem buried there - like Zombie Town.
Kill Katie Malone was no such gem, but it wasn't terrible either. I enjoyed the premise of the movie: buying a ghost on Ebay (called "Ubid" in the movie) and then having that ghost "do your bidding" (pun probably intended) as it starts picking off your enemies one by one until it sets its sights on you. But aside from some cool imagery closer to the end, and a long scene shot mostly in the dark, the movie was neither gory nor scary. Aside from simply knowing that people were dying, and that dying is bad, there was no discernible tension or feeling of genuine menace. And the acting was just okay, there were times that it felt labored and fake, and other times where it was convincing enough that I forgot they were Actors!, but the characters themselves were generally lacking anything remotely compelling. Overall, I just kept getting bored.
Genre: Slasher Director: Daniel Simpson Country: United Kingdom Availability: Netflix Streaming
It's been a long time since I've watched a horror movie that was so bad that it sucked all of the fun out of watching bad horror movies. So, way to go Spiderhole! You did... something!
Usually when I rate a horror movie 2 stars there's a part of me that still enjoyed watching it. Take Hell Nightfor example. It wasn't a so bad it's good movie, but it was still fun to make fun of. I gave it two stars because it was a shitty movie, but I still enjoyed watching it. Spiderhole on the other hand, was a truly unsatisfying experience. Instead of cheerily proclaiming the idiocies of the characters, I found myself angry at their ridiculous situation. I couldn't stand to watch them overreact and flutter uselessly about instead of getting their shit together and being proactive. At 81 minutes Spiderhole ran about twenty minutes too long.
So, the movie is about some art students that squat in a gross, creepy mansion for the summer so they don't have to pay rent anywhere, right? And instead of bringing things that they might need when living in a gross, creepy mansion, like a first aid kit and a tool box, maybe a crowbar or a sledgehammer, they bring throw pillows and knick-knacks to make the place homey. And instead of exploring the place to make sure there are no psychos lurking around (oh hello pile of bloody clothes) before bolting themselves into a place that seems to have sheets of metal covering every window and door, they break in, take one look around a few rooms and proclaim "home sweet home".
It really just goes from bad to worse with every scene as this group of sprightly twenty-somethings can't seem to fight back against an old man in scrubs. I would have much rather watched actual spiders coming out of holes in the walls while frantic teens scurried to smash them all like some kind of gross whack-a-mole.
Genre: Creature Feature Director: Bradley Parker Country: USA Availability: Still in theaters
If my horror movie doesn't start off with a group of beautiful twenty-somethings piling into a vehicle to journey out to some unknown and questionable location that will inevitably get them all killed, then I don't want to see it. (I'm only kidding.) (kind of.) Luckily, after your standard montage of video clips which establish that this particular group of beautiful twenty-somethings are fun and goofy and love each other, and after a few short scenes establishing the relevant relationships of everyone involved, we do just that.
Our players are the usual cast of horror movie stereotypes. You've got Ineffectual Nice Guy, Sarcastic Arrogant Guy, Ineffectual Blonde Girl, Take Charge Brunette, and since we're in a foreign country toss in a few adventurous backpacking Australians and our imposing Ukrainian "extreme tour" guide Yurii, and our players are complete.
As we know from the trailer, they all set off to visit the abandoned city of Prypia, which was near the site of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant disaster of 1986. Here in the city we have crumbling, hollowed out shells of apartment buildings and dark underground recreational facilities, a decaying ferris wheel, a creepy river which is the home to mysterious deformed piranha-like fish, a disintegrating bridge, a giant field of rusty cars and buses, the nuclear power plant that looms in the hazy distance, overgrown walkways that are choked with vines and trees, and scattered remnants of the lives that used to occupy this space. An extremely potent location for a horror movie, to be sure.
The movie kicks into high gear once they've established that they're stranded in Prypia overnight. It's then, once darkness falls, that the beasts come out and terrorize the shit out of them. It's pretty clear from the get go that the wild animals are aggressive and dangerous. Yurri makes a claim that it's unusual for the animals to come this far into the city, but it matters not, they're here and they want to eat you. One of the aspects that I actually appreciated is that the first night passes relatively quickly, and once daylight comes there's this sense of relief that gives birth to bravery. Usually in a horror movie of this nature the first night is the only night and it's then that all of the action takes place, the coming of dawn means the end of the movie. But in Chernobyl Diaries the story takes place over the course of two days and two nights. Though we never see anyone use the bathroom or eat any food, and no one ever complains about needing to do those necessities, such is the ways of the horror movie.
It's not until day #2 that we're introduced to the mutants, the real threat to our dwindling players. The mutants are apparently camera shy though because we never get a clear look at them, a decision made from the result of a low budget or a storytelling decision, one can't be too sure. But they're there, and they're numbers are great. They lurk in the background, closing in as though a pack of wild dogs, diverting your attention over there so they can sneak up behind you and take you unawares. The tension and scares throughout Chernobyl Diaries are potent, and whether you expect the jump or not there's always another one waiting in the dark corners to catch you off guard.
And then there's the silent threat of radiation. The levels are low in certain parts of the city, safe enough for exposure for short periods of time, and they have a Geiger counter that starts to beep once they enter a place where the radiation is dangerous. This is of course an issue once they're on the run and being drawn out of the city toward the nuclear power plant. The Geiger counter goes off constantly but they can't turn back, they can't run in the other direction because they're being herded like cattle.
The end of Chernobyl Diaries has a nice little twist that I didn't see coming. And it was refreshing to see a horror movie that was atmospheric, intense, and scary, set in a location that was completely unique and offered no shelter, no place to hide. And they made full use of this set. They explored many buildings and and tunnels and rooms, both in the daylight and in the dark, so your senses were always on edge in unexplored, new territory. However, they never explain why the title of the movie eludes to the idea that this is a diary of what happened. It's not a "documentary style" movie, nor is this "found footage". They do use the shaky cam method of filming but the cameraman isn't an actual character so it's simply a stylistic choice of shooting. Ah well, it's hardly a gripe that I will hold against it.
Chernobyl Diaries was written by Oren Peli, the same man who brought us Paranormal Activity 1 & 2, so it's no surprise that the jumps scenes are plentiful and the atmosphere is heavy with the anticipation of all that is bound to come.
But my positive take on Chernobyl Diares is not a popular stance. In fact, both critics and audience alike seem to flat out hate this movie. One reviewer's review was a simple, "Fuck you". Normally I don't really address the bad reception that a horror movie gets. As a fan of the genre I have a very deep understanding that the qualities in a horror movie that I find to be enjoyable, others find to be "tired" or "cliched". I know that some people hate too much gore, and others never seem to think there's enough of it. Not everyone is a fan of the "less is more" school of horror movies, and yet others don't enjoy anything too jumpy. Every single person who claims to be a fan of the genre, whether they're a reviewer or just an average audience member, has something that they're tired of seeing, a pet peeve, a gripe. Some are overly critical to the point where I wonder why they watch horror movies at all. It's like shopping at a thrift store and being surprised that everything there is used. I'm not saying that in order to enjoy a horror movie you have to throw out all expectations. That you just have to assume they're all going to be bad or cliched. But a good horror movie, not just enjoyable in the so bad it's good way, but a tried and true good horror movie, is like a diamond in the rough. There are maybe 5 truly good horror movies that come out a year. Compare that to the 80 or so horror movies that are released every year and you can see that the odds are working against them. Was Chernobyl Diaries a great horror movie? No. Was it a very good one? Absolutely. And it doesn't deserve such an onslaught of negativity.
I watch a lot of horror movies. It doesn't mean I have a low expectation when I pop in any particular horror movie, but my expectations are adjusted for the genre. Am I surprised when the dialog isn't stellar or the characters are cliche and making bad decisions? No. Do I hold it against the movie? Not necessarily. Am I surprised when the movie is full of horror movie accessories: flashlight, dark hallways, vehicle that won't start, wounded friend, boobs, no cell phones, pointless arguing etc.? No. Do I hold it against the movie? Rarely. In fact, a horror movie can have all of these elements and more if it does its job effectively - scaring and/or shocking me. And I don't know if I liked this movie because I saw it on the big screen while sitting next to a hefty man who visibly braced himself against the scares whenever he anticipated one, or because the movie was simply doing its job effectively, I can't say for sure. But I do know that once Chernobyl Diaries hits DVD it will be added to my horror collection and will be watched on many a dark and stormy night.
Splintered has a lot of good things going for it. The atmosphere, for one, is dense and dark. It adds to the gritty fairy tale feel that seems so prominent throughout the movie. Our heroine, for two, is strong and resilient. She doesn't let a little thing like captivity keep her down. She's resourceful and thinks on her feet and she's not afraid of the big bad wolf.
Splintered also has a lot of things working against it. Like, they never really seem to commit to any particular idea, instead they give us splinters (hey-o!) of nightmares and lores and then leave it up to the audience to make assumptions. And aside from Sophie, our heroine, the other characters just seem like fodder for the kills. Which is fine, I know the rules of the horror movie, I know these people aren't going to live to see tomorrow. But it doesn't hurt to make them interesting or hell, even likable. Instead we get the generic, hopelessly dedicated best friend who seems more like a whipping dog, and her insensitive, over-reactive dick of a boyfriend. Throw in some half-assed love interest and a random quiet dorky guy and you've essentially got the supporting cast for Splintered. Clearly, they put little thought into this.
For the majority of the movie we're whisked from one scene to the next without knowing the clear motivations for why we're going there. Why do her friends follow her into the woods to investigate a werewolf lore if by when they make camp, they all seem pissed to be there? Why, out of five people, is Sophie the one locked up to be protected? Why does her apparent virginity matter? And is the man-beast really a werewolf or just some feral dude who has lost his mind? We never find out the answers to these things but that doesn't stop the movie from charging ahead and using each one of those points to move the story forward.
Fortunately, despite its flaws Splintered remains a fun romp. It's stylish and intriguing and at times even frightening. And of course the English accents make everything a little more awesome too.
I didn't catch it at the time, sometimes the dialog is a little hard to understand, but the male character's names are Sam, Dean and John. As in the characters from Supernatural. It makes sense once you know. The whole movie kind of feels like a Supernatural episode - curious twenty-somethings go into the woods to investigate a lore only to get themselves into trouble when they find out the lore is real. Except this time Sammy and Dean didn't show up to save the day. Instead, they were slaughtered. C'est la vie.
Genre: Creature Feature Director: Fred M. Andrews Country: USA Availability: DVD
Any movie that starts off with skinny dipping in the swamp has got to be good. Am I right? And CreatureIS good, if you like backwater hicks, local legends, ridiculous creatures, weird cults and lots of boobies. But you also have to like movies that are gratuitous, empty shells of entertainment. And I do like those things. All of those things. So it's no big mystery why I had a ton of fun watching Creature (I'm sure the wine helped).
Like any self-respecting horror movie, we start off (after the skinny dipping in the swamp) with sexy teens on a road trip. We're all nice and paired off in the car, joking and cuddling and being lewd, and then dun dun dun... creeeeepy gas station stop for a pee break. It's here we're introduced to the ever-entertaining Sid Haig, playing yet another skeevy hick, and David Jensen - who has been in everything, ever. These two actors give a little credibility to this otherwise random creature feature.
Also in Creature is True Blood's Eggs - Mehcad Brooks. The man is as fine as ever and even if this movie sucked I'd watch it again just for him, all covered in mud and with an animalistic fury that will make your toes curl.
I guess since this movie is called Creature, and it's about a creature, maybe I should mention the creature? Yeah, he's kinda absurd. Supposedly half man, half crocodile, he resembles neither and ends up looking more like a demon snake man or something. Is he scary? Not really. Only in the respect that he's practically invincible and super strong. But his story is a sad one so I felt a sympathy for the creature which automatically makes him less menacing. Honestly, they could have done better.
And then there's the weird, out of left field sex scenes. We've got lesbianism, voyuer masturbation and incest. Surprised? So was I. But it immediately threw this, so far bland, horror movie into another bracket and I found myself intrigued by the sudden little twist, and wondered, where is it was going now? I will leave the answer to that question for you to find out on your own.
If you do decide to give Creature a go, don't take it too seriously. It's a silly creature feature so have fun with it. I know I did.
Genre: Slasher Director:David Schmoeller Country: USA Availability: DVD; Amazon On Demand
"God help those who get caught, in the Tourist Trap!"
The Tourist Trap was an obscure, strange little horror movie that slipped under the radar when it was first released in '79. It wasn't until frequent showings on cable in the '80s that it gained any notoriety. Now, more than 30 years later, it's regarded as a classic. And rightly so. The score alone, written by Italian composer Pino Donaggio - the man who wrote the score for Carrie and Piranha, and has worked with Dario Argento - is enough to put this one on the map. Its eccentric opening features whistles and wooden blocks and breathy female whispers. It's the kind of song that would be right at home in a twisted carnival. But I suppose Tourist Trap is a bit of a twisted carnival. There are unbelievable tricks to mystify the mind and creepy mannequins that seem to come to life. It's a ride that you don't want to take and that you might not come back from.
The art direction and props in this movie is fantastic. I mean, we're not looking at Oscar performances here. Nor is the script very creative or the characters very interesting. So the rest of the movie has to work for all of the parts its lacking. Luckily, Robert A. Burns, the same man who did art direction in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (brilliant art direction), came to the rescue. The mannequins used here, tricked out with a ventriloquist-style hinged jaw and breathy cries, are enough to give you nightmares for the week. Not to mention death by face plastic. Ouch.
Tourist Trap is one of those movies that reminds you of a dozen movies and yet it's still uniquely its own. Here we have elements of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (hulking man wearing creepy humanesque faces), Carrie (weird elements of telekinesis), House of Wax (wax museum setup and crazy brother element), and every slasher movie you've ever seen with sexy teens going on a road trip.
But like I said, Tourist Trap is its own beast. A completely bizarre horror movie that skimps on the gore but deals you other terrors in spades.
I'm actually not going to post a trailer for this one. When the trailer hit online a few months ago I watched about half of it, until shit started looking peculiar and intriguing, then I was afraid of learning too much and I shut it off. After seeing Cabin last night and watching the whole trailer today I'm thankful that I never watched the whole thing prior to the movie. It gives away too many of the surprising twists that, while may not be meaningful without context, you still go in expecting to see those scenes.I think the less you know about The Cabin in the Woods, the better. Which is why this review will be very short. And no spoilers, I promise!
The Cabin in the Woods is probably the best horror movie I've seen in a very long time. It's well written, for starters. Its smart and funny dialog does not hide the fact that Cabin was co-written by Joss Whedon. It's got great characters that we actually don't want to die. It's got Thor. THOR! That man IS a god. It's got one of my favorite horror movie elements - beautiful teens pile into a vehicle and go on a road trip! And then suddenly their cell phones don't work! And there's a creepy gas station they have to stop at! It's also got gore galore. It's insanely creative. And the end... well, I was like a kid in a candy store. SO MUCH FUCKING FUN! (And it's getting 92% on Rotten Tomatoes!)
Of course what makes this movie really unique is the commentary that it makes on horror movies. In the beginning it gives us the cliches in spades but it's not without purpose. We're forced to examine the exploitation that horror lovers expect and want to see. And then it all turns itself on its head and you start wondering about the genre as a whole. Is it a fuck you to the horror genre, or what it's become? Perhaps. But it's the finest middle finger I've ever seen.
I am going to go out on a limb and say that even if you don't like horror movies, you should see THIS movie. It's spectacular. It's phenomenal. It's... wait. Am I building the hype too much? Now you're going to be disappointed, aren't you? Well, I take it all back. This movie blows. It's overrated. It's abysmal. But go see it anyways. If you like things that suck, you'll probably like this.
Genre: Slasher Director: Sean Byrne Country: Australia Availability: Currently N/A in the US
Sometimes, through a friend of a friend, I am able to see certain horror movies before they're actually released. Such was the case with The Loved Ones, so I apologize that I am about to review a movie that has no current US release date.
If ever a twisted tale was told about an awkward young girl going to desperate measures for a prom date, this would be it. Girlfriend is diabolical. Sure, we know from the get go she's going to kidnap her crush and have some wacky torture party prom at her house. We see that in the trailer. But what added the creepy to the crazy was the relationship she has with her father. This behavior is clearly a lifestyle that has been going on for many years. It's exciting to watch all the creative ways crazy girl and her daddy torture her prom date, but the fun stuff comes in the small details like, what's happening with her mother, and the glimpses we get of her photo album, and then the basement... oh god, the basement!
There's a lot of horror movies out there that phone in the fun. They try to convince us that we're having fun because the characters are having fun. A car full of teenagers all sexy and drinking and making out and laughing - they're going on an adventure! Yay! (yeah, I actually love those dumb movies) But movies like The Loved Ones are rare. They're like cotton candy laced with razor blades. It's like going to the circus where all the clowns are actually serial killers. There's this evil bubblegum appeal here that is unique and intoxicating. They don't have to convince us we're having fun because we're having it, bloody good fun. Just don't forget the corsage, or else!
Genre: Slasher Director: Tobe Hooper Country: United States Availability: DVD
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - for a film that is now 38 years old its reputation for being brutal and horrifying still precedes it. The history of the horror movie genre is just as long and as rich as any other genre in movie making. There have been scary movies that have tested the tolerance of its audience since the silent film, and the controversies surrounding their violence, gore and gratuitous sex and nudity are just as old still. Thousands of movies have been made under the blood-soaked umbrella of the horror genre and yet to this day there remain very few that are remembered past their shelf life. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one such movie.
The first scene that we're introduced to is completely surreal. We're forced to look at a decaying, gooey corpse posed awkwardly atop a tombstone in midday as we listen to a radio broadcast play. The unsettling part comes in when you realize that you're so caught up with listening to what the broadcast is saying about the recent brutal murders and the discoveries of bodies that you forget that you're staring at this horrifying, unwavering statue of death and decay for over a minute. And for all of you horror movie buffs out there you'll note that the opening sequence of the photographs being taken introduce us, perhaps for the first time ever, to that creepy camera sound effect (later to be reused in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake as well as other slasher flicks that follow).
The movie setup is one that is tried and true - a carload full of friends on the road to somewhere end up in the middle of nowhere and soon after tragedy befalls them one by one. The characters aren't particularly remarkable, nor is the dialog, but the places where TTCM shines makes all the difference - like the gritty home video feel; the complete helplessness and clumsiness of the wheelchair-bound brother; the utter unpredictability of the hitchhiker; the atmosphere of all of the buildings and so forth. And that's all before we even get to Leatherface. The terror truly starts when Leatherface makes his first appearance, bursting through the rusty metal door like some faceless Frankenstein's monster, swallowing you up before you've even had the chance to scream. The violence starts from there and while it's horrific it's practically bloodless, your terror is born with the endless screaming and flailing and running and ... screaming. There is a lot of screaming. Let's talk about the screaming.
The performance given by Marilyn Burns, who plays Sally - the main female character, is unrelenting and intense and one of the most remarkable elements of the movie. She goes from zero to one hundred in moments and never stops, never lets up. Her fear and her reaction to that fear just grows and becomes more manic and desperate, in the end she more resembles a tortured, mad, blood-soaked wild animal than anything resembling a person. And the final scene is so iconic in horror movie history that even if you haven't seen TTCM you're probably familiar with the image of Leatherface standing in the road, chainsaw raised over his head as he spins wildly in circles. To this day, 38 years later, TTCM is still regarded as one of the most important and influential horror movies ever made. And having only just seen in for the second time in ten years, I might just have to agree.
Genre: Slasher Director: Tom DeSimone Country: United States Availability: Netflix Watch Instantly
Hell Night! An 80s' slasher flick about sexy teens partying in a supposedly haunted manor starring Linda Blair! What could possibly be bad about something that sounds so awesome? Well, let me tell you...
Linda Blair cannot act. Sure, she was terrific as Regan - the demon possessed little girl in The Exorcist - but maybe it's easier to act like a demon than it is to convincingly portray a regular teenage girl. A few months ago I had the misfortune of seeing her in an atrocious movie called Roller Boogie. And while it was clear from that movie that her abilities must have not made it past the age of 14, I had high hopes for Hell Night bringing Blair back to her horror roots. Not so.
Alas, Linda Blair's performance was not the only element making Hell Night a ridiculous bore to watch. The script was obviously written by a 12 year old boy, "Scott: What a little twat. We should have left her behind.
Peter: Why? Her behind is the best part. We should have kept her behind and left the rest of her." Oh yeah, the movie is full of gems like that. As well as gag scares, quick kill shots with little to no gore, an over-the-top end chase scene and extremely cumbersome and killable killers. Despite all of this, the movie could have been salvageable if not for the dull "character building" scenes that dragged out the middle of the movie. The very last shot of the movie was pretty terrific though and it made me sad that any potential that Hell Night had was squandered by its creators.
